Surrender. That word is like honey to my ears, like rain in a drought season, like a fish in water. This year I am focusing on that word. It's my one goal - to surrender all to God. It is the very breath of life in me. For when I surrender my life gets real, not sweet and easy, just real. What comes with real? Brokenness, but beautiful brokenness. Tears, but tears of love. Trials, but trials that bring growth. It brings me to my knees. It brings Grace, deeper than the oceans; it brings faith, big enough to move mountains; it brings peace, overwhelming peace.
Many say "I, I will not surrender." I say "Lord, make me yours." It is a powerful prayer. It can move me around the world and, at times, turns my life upside down. But it is when I quit saying "Lord, why did you do this?" that I have really surrendered. God is love. His whole being, it's love! He created this world for us. He didn't need us; He wanted us. He wanted you. He wanted me. If God loves us so much to create a whole new world, simply for sinners like us, then wouldn't you think that whatever happens is going to be good? Maybe not good in the sense of what we consider good, but God's good; God's love.
I didn't like it very much when God moved me to Africa. Nope. Not at all. I did not like that idea, but it was good. It turned my world around. It made me a different person. In that time I learned how to pray and I learned about fearless faith. I learned how to love and about contentment, even when there's been no water for 3 days. It was good. I didn't like it at all when my home was filled every day by Africans, but it was good. I, 100% introvert, needed to loose my space to the glory of God. It was my toughest trial in Africa, but I walk away having learned that it's not my space or time that matters, it's the people; those people who God loves so much. He wanted me to see them, interact with them, and be their friend. It was good.
When someone very close to me started to choose the wide, curvy path of life instead of the straight and narrow, that is when I started to say "Why, God, why?" And then I learned to surrender even those who I love so much. I learned, and am still learning, in this trial to be content and know that I am in the palm of God's hand, and this person too. I learn to pray, to pray without ceasing. I like to say I pray because "I believe in a God of miracles."
So I surrender. I want to be set-apart for God's glory and use. I want to be broken and battered. I want to love with the love of Christ. I want to serve and surrender.
To surrender, it's not to quit, but it's to begin.